Age: 30
Current relationship status: As single as they come.
What qualities catch your eye?
Beauty, character, fun to be with, attractive without clearly trying to be attractive.
What turns you off about Christian women?
High anxiety, suspicious of men who pursue them, not willing to give a guy a chance unless she already wants to marry him.
How are things faring with the ladies, in general?
NOT GOOD, seems there are always girls that ‘like me’ but it never seems to turn that into an actual relationship.
That last question was just a diplomatic way of getting the dirt. Boy, why you single?
Wish I knew. I know I’m not the most social guy and probably haven’t done a good job of “getting out there”, but I can think of a few situations where it might have worked out if the girl had given me a chance.
What is the biggest misconception women have about men?
That we know what they’re thinking. I never have any idea. You have to tell me!!!
What do you wish you understood about women?
Why is awkwardness the only unforgivable sin? So many girls seem to date horrible guys because somehow it just feels right. Why not date a good guy and have hope that it just takes time for the awkwardness to fade?
Name your shame. Favorite 90’s ballad? Affection for Lifetime movies? Convince us there’s a mortal behind the facade of perfection that you’re currently rocking.
I watch Glee. And I love it. 
Christians who’re dating face all sorts of moral/logistical conundrums. Where (or to whom) do you look for advice and insight?
I like talking to men who are married because they give me advice with no agenda other than my well being. With single guys there’s often the competition factor. They may well be after the girl I’m asking them for advice about.
If a girl is interested, what’s her best recourse (other than batting of the eyelashes)?
Batting eyelashes is awesome, first of all. But the biggest thing is attention. I start to think a girl might like me if she tries to talk to me whenever we’re in the same place, doesn’t look for a way out of the conversation, and remembers things I said awhile ago.
Should a girl be so bold as to ask you out?
I’m not a fan. Sorry, but I still want to feel like a man and be the one to take that big risk. Hints are great, though. No harm in ‘putting out the vibe.’
What is the biggest difference between dating as a Christian and dating as a non-Christian?
It’s all about marriage. Non-Christians have no problem with dating willy-nilly but for Christians there is much more at stake.
How can the church support healthy relationships?
By creating a comfortable environment where people can date each other but know that if it doesn’t work out everyone will understand and they won’t be viewed as “off limits”. I had a girl turn me down last year because she said she wouldn’t date anyone at our church because it ruined friendships. Break ups can be messy, but that’s just life and I don’t think it should hinder anyone from dating someone within their circle. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t, but you’ll never know if you don’t have freedom to try.
Has something he said sparked any thoughts for you? Leave your comments below. Fellas, want to contribute to the Manversation? Shoot us an email to join in the discussion.
“Why is awkwardness the only unforgivable sin? So many girls seem to date horrible guys because somehow it just feels right. Why not date a good guy and have hope that it just takes time for the awkwardness to fade?”
I’ve learned that when I start to interpret events between me and a guy I’m dating or a guy who likes me as “awkward,” it’s actually that I’m not attracted to him. When a guy is attractive to me, its much more forgivable when he cracks an inappropriately sexual joke or maybe a situation where I don’t know him well but he does or says something only close friends do. There are other types of awkwardness I could list, but I think its the same.
I’m definitely not saying this is true for every woman or that’s true for your experience.
“Why not date a good guy and have hope that it just takes time for the awkwardness to fade?”
This is great advice, especially in light of what I just said.
I agree, it’s all about marriage. More specifically, its all about having a family. A Christian guy needs to be upfront regarding his intentions about having a family because that’s the deal breaker. Once a guy makes it clear that he wants (and when he plans to start a family) or makes it clear that he does not want a family, the pieces fall into place very quickly. If a Christian guy makes it clear he wants a family, believe me the Christian girls will be literally throwing themselves at him.
I think that’s a generalization that especially city girl Christians have to CONTINUOUSLY fight against. Not all of us want to settle into suburbia with kids and become soccer moms. Believe it or not, Christian girls can be smart, have careers, choose to pick kids over careers, or have a stay at home Dad, or actually believe in that thing called PARTNERSHIP in marriage. (Submission included, but that’s more complicated for a post.) I just wanted to defend those of us fighting the good fight for the Christian girls out there that want more than to throw themselves at a baby maker. Perhaps there are a few of us that actually want the person, the partner, the friend, aka the husband. Shouldn’t that be the starting place for why you’d want to have kids anyway?
” I start to think a girl might like me if she tries to talk to me whenever we’re in the same place, doesn’t look for a way out of the conversation, and remembers things I said awhile ago.”
I would not let this behavior hold too much weight in determining whether a Christian sister might be interested. Speaking as a Christian sister, who wants to be supportive of the brothers in her church community, I find it frustrating when I do the above with a brother I don’t know well, only to come off as interested when my only intention was to be welcoming or friendly. I understand this can happen when the genders are switched – so really, I feel people need to be less hyper-sensitive about these casual interactions and not read into them.
” So many girls seem to date horrible guys because somehow it just feels right. Why not date a good guy…”
I hear and read this statement all the time, from both male and female perspectives! Honestly, this statement can come off as whiny. And it doesn’t really reflect well of the speaker. Yes, people can date “bad” people (which I have an issue with this – that is, labeling people as good or bad for the sake of justifying why the labeler “deserves” the desired person more than the desired’s current beau). But what does that say about you if all the people you like, if ALL or most of them happen to have these really bad standards for dating? The people you like may not be the only clueless ones in this scenario.
My question for you: Why you chasin’ those clueless girls? Aim higher and you will probably be happier with her than with anyone who has a penchant for the so-called “bad guys”
Wow, that is an excellent point T. He’s chasing women who are wrong for him by virture of the fact that they are too busy chasing men who are wrong for them…