Making a Mess of Modesty

Your ovaries are showing. At least that’s what I wanted to say to this girl who was walking in front of me down 6th avenue in Manhattan yesterday. Homegirl was wearing a micro-mini so short I could almost make out the eye color on her future children. It was ridiculous.

I don’t know what it is about us women during the summer months, but once the temperature hits 90 degrees the heat makes us forget that even if everyone is wearing sunglasses, they can still see our womanly bits. And the problem isn’t just with women. Dudes, I know it’s hot, but put on a shirt. I don’t even say that because you’re making the ladies stumble. As your sister in Christ (sorry Sarah for use of that phrase), I’m obligated to warn you whenever you look like an understudy for The Situation on Jersey Shore. It’s not a good look.

People, this isn’t 7th grade so I know having a discussion about modesty feels a bit passé. But even as 20 and 30-somethings, we must have some basic agreement on what’s acceptable. I realize I’m the last person who should be giving a lecture on modesty. Quite frankly I’m the girl who repeatedly walks to work with my dress cinched up almost to my waist because I can’t seem to nail the right dress to thigh to purse-weight ratio, leading me to accidentally flash half the city before 9am on the regular. But enough is enough. There has to be a middle ground between dresses at the beach, and bikinis as business-casual attire. If we’re going to keep marching right on into this summer heat wave, there have to be some modesty ground rules.

Photo: Nate Poekert,

Here are some of my 4 basic non-negotiables:

  1. If you can wear it as a shirt, you probably shouldn’t wear it as a dress. I included this lesson for myself. At 5 feet tall in the year of the tunic, I constantly walk the line between shirt and dress. But no matter what the stylistas say, a shirt, even a really long one that passed during winter months when paired with leggings and boots, is not acceptable to show off bare legs in the summer.
  2. Shirts or skins should only be a question on the flag football field. In real life, shirts are required…always. Gentlemen, suit up.
  3. Mesh shouldn’t exist. I can’t think of a valid reason to ever wear mesh post high school PE class, and even then there was an appropriate amount of bad cotton thrown into the mix. My fashionable friends might disagree but I say a material purposefully intended to allow people to see through it is a modesty misstep, unless of course you have a solid layer underneath.
  4. You can only see my (insert bathing suit area) when I (insert any action). If your comfort has a caveat, your outfit is probably in immodesty territory. Put on a T-shirt and jeans and call it a day.

All right that’s all I’ve got for now. What are your thoughts on modesty as grown men and women of God? What guiding principles do you think the sexes should follow to ensure they’re maintaining a modicum of modesty in the midst of the summer heat?

Drop us your word of wisdom in the comments below or email us at

Editor Note: A big awkward side hug and thanks to the always fabulous Nate Poekert for bringing out our inner hotness for a little IKDH photo shoot. You can check out more of his work and hire him at



Chanel is a co-founder and editor of I Kissed Dating Hello™. She loves J.D. Salinger, cinnamon dolce lattes and singing when no one's listening.