More than a few people have sent us this link to a recent article on Christianity Today’s website about the consequences of following the dating advice of the past decade and a half from Christian culture. In short, the writer Gina R. Dalfonzo says the fable for Christian women hoping to get married is this:
- Girl desires marriage in her early 20s. —> She is told to wait for the man to pursue.
- Girl worries she’s aging while Mr. Right gets his act together. —> She is told to be patient.
- Girl focuses on her career, dating only occasionally. —> She is told she’s too picky and should spend more time around guys.
- Girl develops strong male friendships. —> She is told she’s pseudo-dating and intentions are unclear.
- Girl more aggressively pursues men. —> She is told she’s too forward.
- Girl becomes passive and celebrates her 30th birthday alone. —> She is told she was too career-driven and should have pursued a relationship while young.
- Girl runs off with the first non-Christian man who will marry her.
It’s an interesting version of many of the discussions we have here at IKDH. After years of unsuccessfully navigating the Christian dating scene, many of our peers are giving up on finding love with another believer. They have resigned themselves to the idea that marriage with anyone is better than marriage with no one, marching off into lifetime commitments with those who do not share their faith. And I get it.
But I don’t believe this has to be our ending. At IKDH we are trying to break the cycle above and collectively write a new fable about what it means to date as a Christian. So join us.
Let us know what you think of this article in Christianity Today by leaving a comment below or sending us an email. Do you think the pattern Dalfonzo decribes is accurate? Does she leave out anything you’ve experienced? Is it possible to write an alternate ending?